Anti-bad decision cheese

Recently, I've thought a lot about how people need an anti-bad decision button in their brain. You know, a button which you'd press when you'd be thinking "hey, this kinda looks like a bad decision, but fuck it, let's do it anyway". And then the button would insert thoughts about the next morning into your brain. Or it would make your head really hurt. Or something.

But tonight I've had an epiphany. We don't need buttons. All we need is a good anti-bad decision cheese.

Anti-bad decision cheese is a really smelly one. Preferably pickled brie with onions and everything. The idea is this: You go to a pub. You have a few drinks (I guess that goes without saying, really). You order pickled cheese. You eat it. Then, you have really bad breath, obviously. And here comes the genius part - NOBODY WILL KISS YOU IF YOU HAVE BAD BREATH! Ha! Aha!

You can go home without feeling ashamed of what you did, you can go home without having kissed the ugliest guy in the pub because he was just kind of there and no cute guys were around, you can go home knowing that you haven't slept with your ex-boyfriend, who happened to be in the same pub as you... You can go home without having made a bad decision.

And the best part is - a guy who'd be a good decision will kiss you anyway, no matter how bad your breath is. (OK, this may be a bit naive, but anyway.)

So, yeah. Anti-bad decision cheese. Spread the word. One day I'll be famous for inventing this.

...

Garlic should work too, I suppose.